Tuesday, 8 May 2012


So, I’ve just dropped Molly off at the vet for ‘tests’.

Not an experience I was looking forward to. Last Christmas I took Manny to the vet because although his belly was always full he seemed to be losing weight. A few tests later and it turned out he had cancer wrapped around and constricting his stomach – the fullness was caused by fluid collecting in his belly.

The vet had him all day and phoned mid-afternoon to see what I wanted to do, have them put him down while he was still under general anaesthetic or they could wake him up so we could say goodbye. I was on my own and he was a family cat so I decided (through floods of tears) to let them wake him up so we could say goodbye – I just couldn’t deny my family that. It was awful.

I’m in a similar situation again. Molly’s breathing started getting laboured so we took her in and the vet said it could be tumours, but then it could be bronchitis, or pneumonia, or a hundred other things they couldn’t find out without tests. He also noticed one eye was slightly damaged on one side – could be tumours too, or trauma. It’ll be very expensive says the vet, like a builder quoting for a driveway – we could just put her down? No. NO! I told him she could never be too inconvenient or costly. Unless she’s in pain or discomfort she’s not going anywhere.

Which she isn’t, neither according to the vet or pure observation. That was Friday and she’s been at home all weekend. The vet gave her a short-term steroid/antibiotic and said if her breathing got better it was the worst news. Well, her breathing didn’t get any better but her eye got a bit worse and now her pupil looks like a diamond on one side and doesn’t open fully. She’s eating fine and acting just the same as usual. When I took her to the vet this morning she didn’t bat an eyelid.

So I have to sit here waiting for the phone to ring – just like last time. They’re testing for feline AIDS and leukaemia, doing a chest x-ray then they’re going to ring me when they get the results back to make a decision.

Decision? I don’t want to have to make the same one as before. We’ve had Moll for 11 years, but we don’t know how old she was when we got her so she could be a bit older. She’s a self-imposed house cat, and it’s quite odd to not know where she is. But, we have to remember that she won’t be here forever regardless of what the tests find and at some point we’re going to have to let her go.

Hopefully not just yet.



  1. Sorry for the long sad-related posts.

    I've just picked Moll up from the vets. It turns out she has FIV so she probably does have cancer. The vet says we can either put her down or there is an option for chemotherapy which would prolong her life for an unknown time. She would have to have the eye removed first to determine what type of cancer she has and then visit the vet every week for blood and urine tests on top of the chemo.

    The vet thought it would be a good idea to bring her home for a few days so we can take the time to make a proper decision.

    I don't know what to do for the best.

  2. Oh, I'm so sad for you. These are such difficult decisions to make. Best wishes to you and to Molly. If it is time for her to go, at least she has had a lovely life with you all these years.

    1. Thankyou for being so kind. It really is a difficult decision to make because she truly is a part of the family and has been for eleven years. She's sat next to me now, totally unaware, licking mayonnaise off a spoon (her favourite thing). It's just too sad.

  3. I'm so sorry you and your family and Molly are going through this. I have had cats my entire life and I understand the pain you're going through. My heart aches for you and your family.
    I am a firm believer we will be with them again. It doesn't make the tears or hurt stop but it does give me some peace knowing we'll see them again. I hope Molly heals and makes a full recovery.
    You and your family and Molly are in my thoughts and prayers.

  4. Does the vet think one round of Chemo and the eye removal will get rid of the cancer or is this an ongoing battle?
    I think that would determine what I would do. If she will need to be on chemo for the rest of her life I probably would let her go, BUT if the chemo and eye removal would make the cancer go away and she'll only temporarily be uncomfortable I might consider doing that.
    These are just my thoughts. I know the actual decision is much harder. (hug)

    1. Hi Becky,
      Thankyou so much for your kind words and hugs :)

      The vet thinks that it would give her some months but that she won't be cured. She would need to be on chemo for the rest of her life, and also antibiotics because the chemo would supress her immune system further.

      I think we've pretty much made the decision to have her put to sleep and I'm heartbroken. It's so hard to be objective and separate what is best for her from what is best for me. I've been trawling the internet all day looking for hope but I haven't found any. I think we're going to have to let her go.

      Thankyou again x

  5. thinking of you all at this time - stay strong for Molly x